Zombie-Hunters Prefer UpgradeUSA for Computer Payment Plans
Online-Only Program is Ideal for Customers with Brains
Zombie hunters expressed a clear preference for UpgradeUSA’s laptop payment plans for the following reasons:
- Speed and Responsiveness. They have been too busy to cut through the tangled web of red tape when looking for a laptop payment plan that makes the most sense for their busy lives. They are looking for a clear online program that meets the needs of their business, treats them with respect, and acts fast on their behalf. One respondent said, “We must move quickly when we need a laptop on a payment plan; you never know when a zombie apocalypse might be on the horizon.”
- Quality and Reliability. Respondents needed a quality laptop, either new or factory-refurbished, to take care of their important business quickly. UpgradeUSA was the clear vendor of choice. “UpgradeUSA doesn’t play games, or offer computers they know are as reliable as dead people walking. What they offer on their site is what you get,” said one respondent.
- A Line of Credit. When not hunting zombies, respondents are like most businesses owners – often reflective on how to obtain a line of credit. UpgradeUSA works with a variety of small businesses in the position, where they have a quality business and good personal credit, but need tools for their business to grow. “This is a program that can help our cash flow, so that we can get to full strength,” said one respondent. “And their monthly prices can’t be beat. We just eat this up.”
“There’s nothing scarier than doing business with a company that takes advantage of customers looking for lease payment plans,” said Jon Weisblatt, founder & CEO of UpgradeUSA. “Other companies eat money in people’s wallets like zombies eat brains. UpgradeUSA offers a far better experience, like a calm dawn after a nightmarish evening.”
The small percent of zombie hunters who preferred other plans could not be reached for comment, as they had parts of their brains already eaten away.
UpgradeUSA’s credit-building computer payment plans are available for zombie-hunters and savvy businesses, with affordably monthly payments. This makes for an affordable quality alternative to interest-accruing financing or large up-front capital purchases.
For people who want easy payments with a no-credit-needed option, they should check out the Payment Plan Outlet. People will find a variety of options on the Outlet, including gaming computers, small business computers, and more. The Outlet program is available in almost all 50 states, and offers an easily digestible 90-day payoff option.
How People Can Qualify
To participate in the program, interested businesses should visit UpgradeUSA.com where they can click on the “Apply Now” button and complete a short application on a secure site. They should expect an email response within one business day. For individuals, start at PaymentPlanOutlet.com to fill out an application and shop for products on a payment plan.
UpgradeUSA provides an easy, online service that helps people, schools, and businesses afford today’s best technology through monthly payment plans. UpgradeUSA is privately held and is headquartered in Austin, Texas.
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NOTE: This press release is a parody.We are not aware that any of our customers are actual zombie-hunters. However, the benefits that UpgradeUSA provides all customers are very real, and we encourage potential customers to check out our high-tech computer payment plans.